Still, back to basics.
she says,

angie lim.

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Friday, August 29, 2008, 5:23 PM

GP wasnt too bad a paper yesterday. I'm confident of doing better this time round. I was extremely puzzled by some of the words in the list of essay questions. Nationalistic fervour? S&T and bittersweet? Larger than life? Cheamology. And what exactly is soft power? All the new lingo arh, tsktsk.

Saw some of the 29th and 28th who came back to NY today(: Unfortunately I wasnt in the celebratory mood, feeling the warm weather and its humidity seeping into my skin, and after all I dont really have any presents for any of the teachers. As I said, it can only come in March 2009.

Caught 4bia with the 29th at AMK hub after that, and man did it scare the shyt out of me for freaking 6bucks. As 4bia suggests, its 4 short thai films cast about the supernatural and loaded with gory details. The sound effects were all that I needed to feel the chills. The first story was an appetiser, the second was just plain gory (think Final Destination 4) , the third was kinda funny somehow, but the last one was the u l t i m a t e. I screamed until my jaws hurt. But it was worth the scream.

The only thing is, I was so freaked out I didnt dare to bathe when I got home. Silly me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If we crossed paths before, will we meet again?
Who are you?
Why did you appear in my life?

If you and I met, what would you say to me?
Would you walk away again,
Or would you stay?

Who are you, this familiar stranger of mine?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finally.
Happy Teacher's Day(: March 2009, okay? Deal.


Listening to Daniel Powter, Jimmy Gets High.




Sunday, August 24, 2008, 9:58 PM


Double meanings. More photos are with Ben.

The dinner was great. Rice table, and I especially loved the round fried potatoes (forgot its name) and prawns. Benjamin couldnt stop talking as usual, being the chatty one, but he quite poor thing also, down with a cough and a cold and hence, blocked ears. Half the time he was yelling, I think almost everyone in the restaurant heard what he said(:

Xuewei looks healthy and happy in her glowing tan, and Syimah, so jolly and happy, as always! Lester couldnt eat as much though, even I was surprised. First time seh. And Qixiang was unfortunate enough to be caught downgrading to Ben's level. Tsktsk.

It was good, just good. Thanks to Amy especially.

I needed that break anyway.

Though I wont deny that it feels so faraway now. Everything, everyone. Like I've created a crack within which has widened to an unrecognisable state, it cannot be healed. Pray that I'm wrong.

I really ought to be studying now, but I dont feel the mood to. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Listening to, the silence in my room.




Friday, August 22, 2008, 8:46 PM



Repeat after me: I-yam-whoooo-I-yam. There you go!

Looking back at the archives, I realise that I've been silly and more often than not, just plain childish. Tsktsk. I wonder if I really am that immature in reality? Shuuders. Then again, those were reflective of my truest emotions. I shall not shortchange myself on that.

Help me tear down this stonewall of mine. Its about time I see this world in its true colours, cos I've been sheltered for far too long, and maybe when I am ready, to let the world see me.

My heart is peeling, like layers and layers of skin. Its leaving me naked. Its leaving me bare, and so exposed. Unknowingly, I've let my guard down. What's next?

Tomorrow, tomorrow - EXCO dinner. I cant wait.

Listening to Elliot Yamin, Wait For You




Sunday, August 17, 2008, 9:06 PM



Now this pretty much sums up what I want.

I wonder how everyone is doing now? Whether their Uni lives have been good thus far, whether they're coping well.

Sigh.

Listening to Nerina Pallot, Sophia.




Saturday, August 16, 2008, 10:38 PM

I cant stand it when technology kind of dies on me. You know, its that oh no, not again, not now! kind of feeling. Makes me fall into the panic mode.

Am loving the moodstream feature at Getty Images. Music plus random mood-related images and wild pictures - fabulous. I get to mix and match moodboards too. Moodstreaming, my new distraction.

Michael Phelps is like - wow baby, wow. A smashing sensation, a phenomenon.

Been doing some GP research on consumerism and youth. It's a pretty boring process, but I trust that it'll be of use. There's so much more to cover though, so I shall take my time. Same goes to the other subjects. I've started revision, but I wonder when I can safely say that it can end?

God I'm such a nerd. Nerdy Angie. Yayness.

Listening to Vanessa Carlton, A Thousand Miles.




Friday, August 15, 2008, 8:40 PM

74days *Pulls hair*

I'm back to multi-tasking days, where things are happening so fast, I'm too slow to try and juggle them one at a time, so I end up with tons to do. Its papers, papers and more papers to do. I've yet to finish one assignment, and I'm supposed to do another. Tell me I will survive this.

Its a whirlpool that sucks you into the middle of things, and everything around you is just spinning out of control. Or so it seems.

There's still some elements of fun though, especially being around with the regulars. Not as crazy, but ironically it keeps me sane.

Teacher's day celebrations in two weeks time. Presents will have to wait till March 2009.


Listening to The Click Five, Kidnap My Heart.




Tuesday, August 12, 2008, 9:23 PM



Lets see how the Help Ourselves Project goes. If 21 hops are what I need, I'm gonna do it.

What's really really pulling me back is fear.

Of disappointment, of failure.

Not again. No.
-----------------------------------------------------

It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
It's too close for comfort
- Disturbia, Rihanna.

Caught the very impressive Olympics grand opening ceremony on Fri night, and it was amazing. Thus far, I am most fascinated by the synchronised diving and gymnastics segments. Truly breath-taking. These athletes seem almost unreal to me.

I managed to get out of the house and into the pool for a good hour's worth of swim yesterday. It was good cos the pool was practically empty and I had almost the entire pool to myself.

Why is it so easy to push away all thoughts and worries, feeling just the water on every inch of your skin, when you let yourself glide into the water, but with each moment you stop swimming and resurface, you realise that hey, life isnt that perfect at all?



I feel like a confused person right now.




Saturday, August 9, 2008, 11:27 PM

Emo? No, not emo. Just a sense of hopelessness. I want my aces. But so what? What else can I look forward to, when I'm not even sure about myself at this very moment now?

I dont like being misunderstood.

But I dont think you can actually understand how I feel. How trying this journey has been, how self-defeating it can get. It isnt about sympathy.

I dont know who I can turn to anymore. I dreamt of a girl standing in the crowd. Her hands outstretched, her eyes, seeking. But no one stops to look at her.

That girl, is me.




Thursday, August 7, 2008, 4:02 PM

82days.

I learnt a few new and interesting vocab words. They've more or less become some kind of addictive lingo to use, for me at least, wherever possible. Never fails to perk up anyone during the boring lessons. Here's two:

Burgeois, pronounced (in my description) bu-jua-zee, meaning of middle-class. Just the pronounciation alone is enough to make me laugh, much less the word being used.

Circumlocution, pronounced (again in my description) sir-cum-low-cushion, meaning to speak in a roundabout, indirect manner. Well. I cant think of anyone who'd use it.

And I guess GP lessons are fun cos we get to intonate our words some times, especially during vocab sessions. Fun fun fun. Etiquette too - pardon me and thank you, instead of our HUH?!

--------------------------------------
Is there anyone out there who can lend me a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, a heart to trust?

It starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

- Bubbly, Colbie Caillat

I dont know how, and why, but I realise that I've become quite emotionally reliant on him for support. Its just 3months, but everyday is a day that I am reminded of his presence, of his encouragement. Its pretty clear where we stand now, and I still feel that it isnt wise to toe the line. Cos the gray area's the hardest to define. As always.

Nevertheless. Thank you.

Its funny how just a little bit, everyday, goes a long way. Grant me patience, please.


Listening to Bubbly, by Colbie Caillat.




Friday, August 1, 2008, 9:45 PM

88days.

Econs, oh Econs. When will I ever conquer you? I really need to win this war. Wont you ever make my life easier?

I dont like the fact that I'm steadily putting on weight with each day that passes. My metabolism doesnt seem to work as well for me at this age now! Tsktsk. Okay, I must admit it's just the lack of ( or reluctance to ) exercise on my part. I so need to swim again.

Funny, I am crossing out days without knowing it. My daily 24hours. Sobs.

Now I look back at my desk, already (!) covered with ceaseless Prelim and revision papers. Ack. Tell me its all worth it.

To quote Charlie Gordon, in Flowers For Algernon.
- " Who else has lived in both worlds? There are so many doors to open; I am impatient to begin. "

I miss everyone else.

Listening to Viva La Vida, by Coldplay.