Today's got to be one of those unlucky days. Overslept, rushed like mad for the train, almost landed up being late. My mind simply wasnt with the lectures and tutorials. I cant even hold a proper conversation with people without the hmmms and huhs and orhs, I think they were right to say I was a walking zombie.

I spent a long bus journey home whilst thinking. I havent done so much thinking since.. I dont know, eons.

I wonder if I have set high expectations of friends and family. In fact, too high a bench of expectations, such that when they differ in words or actions from what I perceived them to be, my perspective of them changes, sometimes so drastically, I feel disappointed.

I know I am being very selfish when I expect things of people, cos often, I dont meet the expectations of others too. However, I've always been one with the desire to gain assurance and support from others in whatever I do. I seek trust, I seek encouragement, I seek companionship, and more often than not, I expect them to be palpably there. Selfish, aint I. And boy I wont deny this, cos I'd be lying to myself if I ever tried to doubt myself on that.

Hell yes, I'd be guilty only when I know of how my actions have caused much turbulence in the lives of those from whom I sought my expectations. Friends, family, schoolmates, tutors, everything.

I expect family and friends to understand; I expect tutors to guide and enlighten; I expect my future boyfriend to be ideal; I expect results for my hard work. All of which, I know, is almost always impossible.

I've always believed that receiving support and a sense of responsibility from people is mutual, and not a given. Yet I feel disappointed, sometimes, when the support and responsibility I needed most, didnt come. Tell me, who can I turn to now.

Is it me, or just everyone else. Expectations, expectations.

Oh flu and fever, wont you please go away for a day? I cant be feeling so miserable all day, can I? Please make my blocked nose and sore throat clear; I want to eat properly and sleep properly again. Sigh.

But thank god I worked my way through the Econs essays and Math. Guess it helps you focus on your tasks at hand when you're down and cannot do anything else. Forces you to do homework. *Sneezes.

Will someone tell me, why do guys like (pretty) girls?