Still, back to basics.
she says,

angie lim.

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Sunday, December 30, 2007, 1:40 PM



I used to wish for an happily ever after ending. But that has since become the past. Part of growing up told me that reality was more worth holding on to than fantasy, for thats the world we live in.

Though there's a part of me that stills believes in having dreams come true.

I still cannot bring myself to let them go. I'm missing the people whom I used to see everyday.




Friday, December 28, 2007, 11:34 PM

" NYJC: Pls be informed that you've been allocated to CT 0719 for year 2008. You are to report to this class when school reopens. "

I've just downloaded my timetable from litespeed. Dang it, I dont like my tutors. LOL. Not that I can ask for anything much. But still?! New people makes me nervous.

Otherwise I'm perfectly fine with school. Oh no, not P.E. I'm so dreading it. Noooooo.

Help help help.




10:24 PM

I want to make it happen.

For me, for 2008.




12:10 AM

school's starting, i'd be lying if i said i were not nervous. i'm freaking out. i just wish 2008 would come and go quickly. go! shoo!




Thursday, December 27, 2007, 10:47 PM

its no point trying so hard.




2:27 PM

How long has it been since I really spoke to a friend? Its been so long, so long. So much so, that nobody really truly knows how terrible I feel inside. There have been so many things I've been through this year, challenges unknown to many, expectations unseen by others. I dont believe that I've really had that much courage to face them all. Studies, relationships with friends and family, leadership.. I cannot say that I did them all, but all I can say is I did put in my very best.

Many a time I cried tears of defeat, I stopped in my tracks, only to be picked up once again by sound words of advice. There are many times when I feel unloved, unwanted, alone and lost.. until I can feel no more.

I sought friendships, I sought company, I sought love. I yearned for support, I yearned for some comfort. Yet I almost didnt always get them. I always asked myself, am I not worthy of receiving love and friendship? The answer always came to me that same night, that I was.

Teach me to be a better person. Teach me what it takes to be, a friend, a daughter.




Tuesday, December 25, 2007, 6:29 PM

THANK YOU for the presents. More importantly, I think its the thought that counts. MERRY CHRISTMAS (:

Sometimes it doesnt take applause to acknowledge what you've done. We give more than we receive. While others get more, all you have to know in your heart is that your efforts havent been in vain.

Sometimes, I just want to shoot myself in the foot for being a liar.. To myself.




5:08 PM

MERRY CHRISTMAS (:

Christmas party with the 29th; lets just say that we'll last long enough to serve our council bond even though we've stepped down.










Saturday, December 22, 2007, 8:06 PM

I think I'm gonna abandon facebook. Its getting too.. boring. For me at least. So there.

Christmas is coming, it's coming. Oh yeah. Oh, I think these pictures are very nice (: Fun while working. Hard.







More photos after the party tomorrow (:


P.S: I dont like tuition.
P.P.S: I cant skip it though. GAHH.




Friday, December 21, 2007, 5:15 PM

Hooked, onto this.


Well I kinda dislike Christmas shopping. Its too much hassle for me. Please dont kill me if you happen to pick my Christmas gift; I did try my best already. At least I bought what I felt was the best. Too bad if you dont like it.

I've been stuck indoors for three days now. With nothing to do but TV, tutorials and more TV. I can memorise the different programs on the different channels already, bless me.

On hindsight, maybe some fresh air would do me good. Though I'm an advocate of the being-alone-is-good notion, I tend to contradict myself sometimes.

Christmas party on Sunday. Hurray.




Wednesday, December 19, 2007, 8:30 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMAL \LUQMAN (: Sorry I missed the birthday dinner and movie.

I feel screwed.




Monday, December 17, 2007, 11:48 PM

My dad and I popped by our BIG family chalet this morning; we were welcomed by a chorus of laughter and cheers. Heh.

I shall let the pictures do the talking!


Unit B - for Begonia


When I said BIG, I meant it. Literally. Just look at the clothes hung out to dry LOL.


Mahjong time here wasnt just restricted to the adults; the kids had their rounds too. And they CAN play just as well.


My sister is camera-shy. ( Rubbish, LOL )


So when I got bored and went outdoors, and found THEM doing this.


Girls..


Versus the boys. YEAH//


I liked these. Cushy cushy, as they called it.


Swimming (: Goooooood.



Then there's RACING at the arcade. I was crowned the silent-killer-at-overtaking racing CHAMP. Muahaha.


So now I'm back home to sleep, cos there's simply not enough space to accommodate all. Will be back there tomorrow evening! Yay yay yay.

Ciao world.




12:03 AM

In my eagerness I checked my MSN and realised that many of them are already offline and poof! gone.

Tomorrow's a Monday. I should have remembered.

Oh well, I'll survive the following days as I've always done. But the air just seems a little.. different, without them around. The earth's still spinning though, so there's no point in me stopping my own progress. Time to move on Angie.




Sunday, December 16, 2007, 11:08 PM

EXCO DINNER (: We havent changed abit (: Noisy, gossipy and HIGHNESS as usual. That's why I'll treasure you people even more.

Thanks Ms Chiew and gang for the dinner. Lets do this again sometime.


The cute bottles before the contents were gone. I filled it with love, care and many wishes for each and every single one of them. To tell them I appreciate all that we've been through as an EXCO.


Thats nine hands with similar watches. Cute eh? Ms Chiew got them in HK. It'll be one precious thing to remember the EXCO and 29th by. Thank you.

And LOTS of gossip. Cant stand them all, like leopards that never change their spots, they're just plain crazy and fun. Hah. I'll really miss you guys.


2008! Its so near, its freaking me out. Anticipation, hopes and more expectations. Its all within my control to change things for myself. Cos' I create my own experiences in LIFE. People will change and go away, but they'll always, always, be tucked aside in a precious corner of my heart, never to be forgotten.


I gave my best today, as I always do. Sometimes though, its simply not enough. Give me the strength and chance to catch up. To do something right.

Loves.




12:01 AM

I wasnt bothered too much until the two words bugged at the back of my head just moments ago - best buddies.

Sure, I have friends. Countless, in fact. My facebook profile states that I have 123 friends. Still counting. Theres more I havent added.

Friends made in nursery and kindergarten, when all that was needed was a smile and the ceaseless laughter at the playground after school to become playmates. Playtime was good, childish fun. I miss those days.

Friends made in primary school, when everyone was eager to exchange ' autobiography ' books for poems and notes. When girls and boys played together until they realised it became too boyish for girls to play freeze and tag, and cliques formed.

Friends made in secondary school, the bubbly girls in their worlds. Always crazy, always fun-loving, always gossiping. I never quite figured out where I belonged, and thus spent a long time trying to fit in. I miss the morning hymns and mass, i miss the blue pinafore.

Friends made in JC, where I sought real friendship in 29th and 0621. I stumbled along the way, fell and picked myself up. Experiences were.. Irreplaceable. Even tutors become my friends, whom I can trust.

Yet I cannot quite put a finger to it all. In all honesty, despite shared bonds and ties, I havent really had a best friend or anything like that. Nobody ever called me that. Was it because of the way I am? That I couldnt give the kind of friendship between best friends? Perhaps. And now I wonder what it'll feel like to have one, or be one.

Its all naive thoughts, please pardon me.




Saturday, December 15, 2007, 12:28 AM

Gray

When I was a child

I saw in black and white.

Everything was obvious

Either wrong or right

No arguments, no pros and cons

Choices were precise.

Pure and joyous clarity

Gave me a simple life.

So I grew and learned to face the world

Living life that way.

And now I feel so unprepared

‘Cause black and white turned gray.

My unfaltering vision failed

Focus left my eyes.

Where choices were once obvious

I can’t tell wrong from right.

Because today I am a teenager

And nothing’s quite so clear.

I’m seeing through an adult’s eyes

A child’s biggest fear.




Friday, December 14, 2007, 7:55 PM

swimming; happiness.

Four down, several more to go.
Maybe i should be in NS to get the real experience that they do. I can train too, dont look down on me. Well, i'll miss them.

Eight down, also several more to go.
Where? The working society, thats where. I guess we wont be able to meet up as often anymore. Noooooo. I'll do something about it. Till then, i'll miss them even more so.

I dont belong to the above two categories; the life of a JC student still beckons me. And i'm so NOT looking forward to it.

I've already declared war with chemistry and econs. Wish me luck.

Meanwhile, please let me keep my sanity in one piece, thank you very much.




Thursday, December 13, 2007, 1:18 PM

The dinner and movie date last night with the regulars was good. A therapeutic date for my soul. It was good to be out with them. I think I'll miss them so much next year.

For me, life is a voyage that's homeward bound.

Welcome home Angie. Back to where I belong, to where I'm happy once again.




Wednesday, December 12, 2007, 3:09 PM

I cant say that I'll be fine so soon, cos my heart needs a little mending. I wonder how I'll survive the nights. Its hard not to think when my mind's reeling all over like the movie screen. And this song's pretty much stuck in my head.

Just so you know, this feeling's taking control of me, and I cant help it.. And I dont know how to be fine when I'm not.

I want to be independent again.

I shall keep myself occupied with the million and one things I have to do. Till I can step out of this shadow, thats all I can do.




Tuesday, December 11, 2007, 9:38 PM

It feels stupid to know that you've somewhat failed without even trying. Its like leaping off a building with no safety net. Falling without a safety net. This feeling sucks.

Now i think i hate myself more than i hate you.

My courage still fails me, but i guess i dont need them anymore. Once bitten, twice shy.




Monday, December 10, 2007, 4:36 PM

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You'll find the way




2:05 PM

i'm done with feeling sorry for myself.

STUPID GIRL.

Honestly, its time to move on. And get a life.

While I've plans to swim, the weather hasnt been very kind to me. So instead I'll be holed up at home to catch VCDs with sisters. Until I have a reason to go out.

So, f**k off from my thoughts wont you, thank you very much.




Saturday, December 8, 2007, 10:46 PM

Some time ago I took a walk and spent the long walk thinking to myself. In 18 years the biggest struggle I am yet to overcome is surviving me. Surviving Me. It sounds so cliché and yet so real at the same time. I am my own biggest adversary, because I have been responsible for my own destruction and my own saviour all at the same time.

Now a million and one possibilities run through my head; of my studies, of people around me, of my future..

Just so you know, this feeling's making me feel miserable. I want to say it out before I burst internally, but I lack the courage. If i ever say it, please dont hate me.




Friday, December 7, 2007, 10:31 PM

I slept for 4 full hours, feeling better now. But my body's bio clock is still screwed. Having read some blog entries, i realise that after all the fun, its back to work again. For me, it entails a totally different meaning. Yeah.

Help. i dont want to face the notes yet. But its already December for god's sake.




2:23 PM

there are times when i feel like crap and i want to give up. there are times when i've snapped inside and i dont know who i can turn to, to make me feel better, to tell me everything's going to be fine. there are times when i want to make things happen, but they just dont. i have learnt my lessons this time round.

i count myself lucky that the chalet turnout was better than expected. it really wasnt easy managing a chalet and BBQ, having to handle people, money and time.

thank you 29th. thank you mervis, for helping me out at the very last minute. i dont know what i would have done without you. thank you lester, for helping me financially. thank you amal, for telling me everything was going to be fine.

i had my fair share of fun the past three days. Naruto was never going to be exciting without the players - zi wei, yvonne, jiaying, weihao etc.. yeah.




Dreaming of you - Selena

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I'd wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Cos' I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you even see me
And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far, all I have are dreams of you
So, I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you (Yes, I do)

I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe that you came up to me
And said, "I love you; I love you too"

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow, and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming with you endlessly


thank you.




Wednesday, December 5, 2007, 10:15 AM

PROM 07 (: Christ i never thought i'd live to go through this nerve-wrecking day.


At home, its 3.45pm. I was damn nervous. Not to mention skeptical. Dressed up and everything, took the train down to orchard. It was FLOODED.


Left to right: Quelyn, Sylvia (birthday girl), Jo'An, me and Katrina.


Wheee (:


I swear i could have gone blind with all the flashing cameras going off in my face.



The first dish, the appetiser. Yumm. I loved the baby octopuses. Sylvia was eating like non-stop. Heh.


Yumm. Double yumm.


Jiaying was the lucky girl to put all the items on her from our table. Poor thing. But we had fun, didnt we.


Amal (:


Jack and Aaron! The black and white men.


Group pics; dragonboaters.


Tricia and me (:


Prom King and Queen.



There's more pics, but i didnt upload them. Post prom was great; i had a good time dancing and then watching people dance. The dancefloor was jam-packed. Good job people. Loves. See you at chalet.




Monday, December 3, 2007, 8:17 PM

shopping is therapeutic only when you have the kaching to spend. haa. shopping with ziwei and katrina at orchard today. in total we covered a great deal of distance. there were many people taking photos outside ngee ann city, where we passed by thrice and i bet we appeared in the background of their photos. haa.

i cannot believe prom's actually tomorrow. so soon? *breathes* i'm so freaked out, my mind's going through the million and one possible ways of spoiling my own prom -.- gahh.

and i'm proud to say i've finally finished the 20 question long integration tutorial. please, i never want to see another question again.

i hope evrything turns out okay for me.




Sunday, December 2, 2007, 2:25 PM

The RSAF seminar was very inspiring. I may just join the RSAF and be an officer, go for vocational training and one day be a WSO. Being a pilot is very exciting too. But i dont think i have the height to be one. But it doesnt matter i guess. There's the WSO. Its great to be flying everywhere. The pilots were.. OOH. Yeah.




Saturday, December 1, 2007, 2:59 PM



i've been doing weird things these days. Hah. But its fun! Ask anyone what's the weirdest thing they've ever placed in the oven; i think i'll win hands down cos the potato chips bags are evidence. Yeah.

Council's farewell dinner was nice; we totally owned the place. Its refreshing to see them in their funky hair colours; so.. welcome to the world of colours (:

I've plans to go swimming and sun tanning at sentosa. But i've got nobody to ask. Seems like everyone's busy. Shopping and mahjonging etc.

Self-entertainment's my second name (: Tata, till prom.