Still, back to basics.
she says,
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Monday, July 30, 2007, 3:29 PM
i havent been online or updated this lil space for such a long time now! time is flying past me so quickly, july has come to an end! noooooo.caught The High School Musical last night with yvonne, renkai, mervis and sebastian at xuewei's house. NICE times ten to the power of 23. maybe even more. loved all the songs, dances, and chereography. looking forward to the second one (: no, no, no... stick to the status quo. NICE.
back to earth, i'm trying very hard to catch up on the workload. jiayou angie, go go GO!
sadly, i'll be back in only a week's time. to take a breather and indulge in the blog! till then, tata.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007, 1:58 PM
dont read this if you happen to be in a good mood and you want the good mood to last. i warned you.
i am beginning to feel damned demoralised by everything thats happening to me. damnit. this reality is too painful to behold. and i'm losing it this very moment. 96 days left. hell, i'd give anything to ace my exams. but i know, i know, thats its impossible. given my status now.
i really want to help myself. i'm stubborn, i'm stupid, i'm forgetful. just give me some hope to last the next 3 months.
i cant breathe.
Sunday, July 22, 2007, 9:52 PM
if you call me todayi'll say that i'm fine
but i bet you cant tell
by my tone my voice
its just a lie
flooded by tutorials and papers, i feel suffocated. i wanna take a good break. away from everything else but music and a good book. now thats life. but not reality.
i'm going on a long journey thats homeward bound.
recently i've been in a foul mood. i snapped at my mom. i want to tell her that i'm sorry and that she should just stop nagging completely cos it really really REALLY gets on my nerves and i hate that. sheesh!
roar. back off, else i'll bite. but not if you're nice to me. HAH.
my love for you
is deep and meaningless.
Friday, July 20, 2007, 8:06 PM
i had a bad dream that came true this afternoon. freaky.my memory's been really really bad these days. its a sign that i'm ageing. like, i'm really living it the 'ah ma' way. HAHA. forgetful and absent-minded.
anyway, today has been a very very eventful day. literally. this is the most significant one. we wore the class tee (: and guess what. mr lee did a flip on us by wearing the 2005 LTC shirt - maroon colour. thrashed. so we walked into class for the two hour long chem tutorial, which was flooded in maroon (: not bad i must say.
take me away wont you?
Thursday, July 19, 2007, 2:10 PM
i am deceiving myself.Someone once said: "What goes around comes around."
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.
how long has it been since i've last walked in the rain? how long has it been since i've witnessed the sweet sunrise and sunset? how long has it been since i've last laid on the grass to daydream?
i wish i could do it all over again. but time just isnt on my side.
i just wish for someone to walk in the rain, to witness the sunrise and sunset again, to lay and daydream with me. i wish.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007, 2:15 PM
i long to play at the playground again (: i did last night, and it felt great. all the childhood-like happiness came back to me, and i wished so hard that time could just come to a stand still there and then. i want my childhood days back.i'm all of 18, and to quote mom, i'm still too immature for the world. shying away from growing up. still grappling with issues that i've yet to come to terms with. still stuck with trying to understand myself. it has never been a touch and go kinda thing; for i've never stopped wondering.. the so many whys and what-ifs.
As I grow to understand life less and less,I learn to love it more and more. - Jules Renard
maybe, maybe not.
12:28 AM
walking along, singing a song. weather's so nice... i see king kong! LOL!my goal for this month ( and for the next few to come ) is to study hard for upcoming prelims. its like a never-ending cycle y'know? yet i know, that i'm not in this alone.
i want to help myself. the first step to that, is to pry open those books and files and start the mock papers. i just hope that i have enough determination and fortitude to continue on this long journey laid out by books, books and more books. wish me luck people.
it feels so empty inside, like i've lost something. i want to find that glimmer of hope back. if you ask me what i'll do tomorrow, i'll say that i want to live life to the fullest.
Monday, July 16, 2007, 11:27 PM
man is a complicated creature. rahhs.ah well, life is complicated itself. go figure.
p.s: i'm tired. physically exhausted. brain-dead. rahh.
Sunday, July 15, 2007, 4:32 PM
i'm back! haha. NOT. i'm using xuexue weiwei's computer LOL. anyway, i have this to share, as how Hui Sin shared it with Sir Brunor for LTC (:DONT QUIT.
dont quit
when the tide is the lowest,
for its just about to turn;
dont quit
over doubts and questions,
for there's something you may learn;
dont quit
when the night is darkest,
for its a little while till dawn;
dont quit
when the hill is steepest,
for your goal is almost in sight;
dont quit
for you're not a failure,
until you fail to try.
yeah, i agree. somehow or another, i have a new motto in life (:
for now, i must mug in a cleverer fashion.
Thursday, July 12, 2007, 2:30 PM
sometimes it just strikes me that i've been taking certain things and people for granted. and yet, i have been doing it time and again, not realising until its far too late to salvage the situation. life's like that, making the mistakes and learning from them eventually.guess i shouldnt be too self-indulgent anymore.
1:55 PM
so many things have happened to me in this one short week. here goes!LTC 2007 was a blast (: i thank my fellow Sir Brunor-ians for the wonderful times and laughter we shared together, for making this camp a very very VERY meaningful one indeed. to my fellow facils, nick and huisin! things would have been very different if not for the two of you here, and being new to facilitation, i've certainly gained ALOT of insights that will stay with me for the rest of my life (: thank you, for being my coaches and halping me G.R.O.W. (:
if i could do it all over again, i would (: just for you guys.
well, coming back to college certainly has turned my life upside-down, inside-out. the mids; i am so darn screwed. this time round, i'm determined not to make history repeat itself again. never.
i know that if i'm willing, i can. but i still need that glimmer of hope to tell me, that i'm ontrack, and i pray that i'll not lose my way...
meanwhile, my computer has crashed (AGAIN) and i'm currently using the college's library computer. sadded.
sometimes i feel that what really happens to you isnt the most important thing; but rather, what you do about it. i cant remember who told me this, but every now and then as i feel like giving up, i ask myself if there's a better way of doing the same thing, without the hassles.
really, its not as easy as it seems.
crying it out no longer helps; i'm numb to failures already. i'm just, so sick of everything else.
Thursday, July 5, 2007, 9:07 PM
LTC in 11 hours time (: sir brunor. ROAR!the midyears are over, come the LTC. and MORE muggerian days to come. ah, the life of a JC2. currently,
my desk's a huge mess.
my thoughts are everywhere.
my heart isnt with me.
my hopes, they're losing faith..
pardon me, i need fresh air to breathe.
Sunday, July 1, 2007, 10:59 PM
i'm a slave to the education system. *screams* 3:35 PM
LTC 07's coming (: yayness. sir brunor, with nicholas and hui sin. looking forward to it. haha. for now, its the mids i'm gonna face. awww. but hey, i'll do it (:to quote benjamin tan junming. i love poisson, poisson loves me. HAH.
welcome to the world of STATs.