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Still, back to basics.
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she says,
angie lim. tagged,
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four4two2 archive,
January 2006February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009
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Thursday, August 31, 2006, 10:07 PM
been pretty tired these daysbut i'm glad all's over for now. time to study Tuesday, August 29, 2006, 12:53 PM
we are all riding on the wind, searching for the road that we have seen.keep to this path, dont wander off, then i'm sure we'll make it.. this song is still lingering in my head now, and it holds a rather memorable meaning to it, especially since the words sung are so true. amazingly beautiful lyrics. for now, i need to know that i'm not alone on this arduous journey to prove the odds. to prove to everyone, to prove to myself. i dont know what my future holds, but i'm willing to at least try. and i'm hoping upon that strand of hope and support that the people around me are giving, i will try. i'm gonna be smart; i'm gonna try real hard. i aint gonna giv up. - charlie gordon, ' flowers for algernon ' Saturday, August 26, 2006, 1:16 PM
hello world i'm back. my comp crashed one day and died on me. this time its really hopeless. all my photos are gone. :( all my stuffs are gone :( rahh. i'm using the council laptop in school.i am tired. wah. imagine studying. i still canot get the concepts of planes and vectors. when a line intersects the planes and two planes intersect, the normals confuse me. then i'm brain dead. sheesh. i need help for math so badly. and it doesnt help when i'm practically failing my tests so badly too. gosh. wah i'm accident-pro. wahahaha. its in my genes. i'm feeling really random. i love council. i love my class. i love my family. so pls dont take it all away from me... Saturday, August 19, 2006, 5:27 PM
i'm fine (:i need to stop and think. think things through. whats going on in my life? why am i here today? am i really going to live it this way? am i who i really am? who am i? thank you for being there all these while.. Monday, August 14, 2006, 3:40 PM
Dear diarySometimes I feel that life aint fair. It just doesnt seem to work for me. Why? I asked myself so many times, and all I get are the echoes that resound in my head, it annoys me. Screwed up, I'd say. Mere 40 odd days left, and I'm like a wandering soul still unable to find home. What happened to the haven I once looked forward to? What happened to me? The walls are closing in ever so slowly, and its so dark in here. I am pushing ever so hard, but they dont budge. I am losing this fight against time. No! Please dont let it be so. Last night mamma looked at me and for the first time I saw the tears welling up in her eyes, in her forlorn face, in her trembling lips. I looked away, but she didnt. She just stared at the altar, the incense from the joss sticks so overwhelming, it stung her eyes. She muttered silently, the hopes in her eyes, I was so afraid she'd collapse. All the anger and regret and frustration struck me, and I was sorry. But I didnt know what to say. I couldnt. Here was my mother, kneeling on the icy floor, its 1 am, but she held onto the joss sticks like a vice, she said her prayers over and over again, and with all her heart kept me in her silent prayers. She looked different, the face now wrinkled, like the years stolen away. She coughed, once, twice, a little sneeze. I was crushed. Then she went to sleep. But I didnt.. I couldnt. Maybe I should stop for the moment and listen. Listen to what they are saying. Listen to who is calling me. i should reflect upon myslef. I just hope, that someone will listen to me too. The HARDEST thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else. [[ Just keep your eyes to the sky. And know I am always nearby. ]] 12:46 PM
just as i start to pray, my world comes crashing down.Friday, August 11, 2006, 5:30 PM
am feeling so lost again. like when i was four and i didnt listen and i let go of mamma's hand.. i couldnt find my way back to her. i cried so hard. she didnt come for a very long time, and i didnt stop crying. when she did come from the crowds, i ran, towards her, crying like i never did. i told mamma i was sorry, i was really sorry, and i hugged her so tight like i didnt want her to go. but now.. theres no one i can turn to. not anymore. nobody listens. nobody. i'm afraid to be abandoned by the ones around me; i feel estranged from them. i dont know how to talk to them anymore. i feel like a raft that that is losing its sense of direction, drifting apart from the fleet of ship that carries the spirits of my friends and family.. i'm lost. i dont know how i should start to pick up my life. i'm a mess. dislocating my elbow is most idiotic thing i've ever done; stupid. at times i look at my class, i look at the people around me; they're smiling and happy. i reflect their smiles, but i know it aint real. deep inside i'm crying already. i'm suppressing the urge to show it. its so sour, so bitterly sour. when all the pain and urge just gets so overwhelming.. theres this sinking feeling that i'm really losing my footing this time. i feel crushed. by everything! i tell myself to pick up pace, but talk is cheap. really. i guess i never realised how self-motivation can go a long way to getting a headstart; it has never worked for me yet. i'm willing to try, but will time give me a chance? i dont know. so many times i want to just give up the things i'm holding onto, but i cant. i know i cant. my world just came crashing down on me. all the arguments, fightings, shoutings, the crying, a constant burden of work and emotions.. i'm praying. so hard. please tell me i can make it..Thursday, August 10, 2006, 2:35 PM
happy burfday singapore :) todays been a pretty memorable day! went cycling at east coast, dinner was so crabby (get it?) and yummilious!! muacks* watched the lovely fireworks and all outside nat stadium (no enuff tix), with family and friends! wonderful :) oh i dislocated my elbow! haas. accident. but anyhow, i'm perfectly fine! :) yeps. the cast's pretty itchy though. that aint nice. but WOW. my first 'dislocation' haas. there's always a first for everything i guess! now i cant really type fast enuff cos i'm not in a very nice position to type in. lols. :) but cheers to singapore!! i'm in a jolly mood i dont know why!oh, pw meeting tmr! Monday, August 7, 2006, 11:35 AM
film fest was a brilliant success :) congrats dickson! the films were touching.. to a point of making me realise, how much i should appreciate the loved ones around me. everyone in my life right now are the angels that i've met; angels who have come to guide me in my life; angels who are here to spread their joy and happiness. i know i'm bound to meet more angels as i continue walking the stairs, till i come to the end.now i look in the mirror, and i see a girl. small eyes, a frown, pimples, a little tear falling down.. who is she? who is this girl i see? i see my life flashing past me, and the bits of memories come together to form a little picture, a little picture of my life, yet complete. where were you when i needed you most? who are you? when theres nobody here it is scary; when theres nobody to catch you fall its frightening. so where are you now? can you hear me calling? no... then again i'm not sure if this is how i should live on. all that i can do now is indulge in the joys and laughter that the people around me bring. i know nobody else can help me now but myself.. Saturday, August 5, 2006, 11:21 AM
my oh my i really must settle down and study hard this time round. less than 6 weeks to promos now. freaky.had the dialogue session with MPs; not bad, just feelin a lil... i dont know. hmmm yea. politics, being leaders, all so tough! yst was half uni day ( as fridays rockk ) one particular guy took half uni to a whole new level man. oh boy, quelyn and i were laughing at the thought ( and sight ) of it. hilarious. now this is what i call creativity at a brand new peak. cool :p oh wells i gtg now; FILM FEST tonight! yeah. for now, tata world. oh n jiayou to everyone muggin out there; councillors strive on!! Thursday, August 3, 2006, 1:27 PM
bad lucks today. shant elaborate la hor. i blasted Mcfly's '[obviously] she's outta my league' in the bathroom just now,and boy was it good. havent felt this good since.. eons? yeah. and i want my sleep! but i'm haunted by the tutorials and work which i havent ( and dont really feel like ) doing; yikes! i need the motivations people! motivate meeee!! study study STUDY; mugger here i come. mom is not convinced that i'm willing to stay for night study; she saw the grades and simply gave me the cold treatment. oh no. i hate this. this s***ks. we're fighting a cold internal war here, and i cant get outta it now. damn sickening. i feel so lost! for now, my diary is where i scribble everythin down, so many things to say, i need a new book soon.dang i didnt get banged by a car. Wednesday, August 2, 2006, 1:44 PM
.:life's like a novel WITH ITS END RIPPED OUT:. go figure it out.sleep is like the last thing on my mind these days; with everyone chionging for tutorials and the councillors, their proposals, i'm striving to work 2gether with em; be my source of motivation! and the one dreaded thing that is pushing me on too is the disastrous MIDYRS RESULTS; they say theres always the promos to chiong for, but i'm thinking to myself, what the hell have i been doing all this time then? i posed this question to myself, and i only received half an answer.. somehow i feel, incomplete. like something's missing. cant seem to figure it out yet. but i'm truly grateful for the wonderrful friends classmates family and dearest councillors for their undying smiles and support :) i know i can count on you all to make my day! and i'm really really absolutely thankful for your presence in my life - sometimes god mixes up the people we meet but i'm glad He put you next to me and we're still friends as He meant us to be. only you guys can love me for who i am; pimples small eyes big nose and all. you dont know how much i wish to thank you all for.. |