Still, back to basics.
she says,
angie lim.
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Wednesday, May 31, 2006, 5:25 AM
these days i've been pretty productive i guess; jamming up notes into my head and busy scribbling some more. i'm trying to occupy myself for fear my thoughts run wild, really. and my doubts have come true.i heave a silent sigh of relief, and i think, thank god i am not going through it again. enough of such things already.
matters of the heart complicate me, and i am not going to be so stupid as to plunge into doing another dumb thing i once did...its pretty shakened me up. and i look back on it and i feel so stupid; stupid for being so gullible and desperate; stupid for clinging on to that pathetic strand of hope when i knew nothing will ever happen.. i've been pinning too much hope on something i knew will never materialise; its been a nightmare. i was such a fool.
as if council and school isnt enough to busy me, i'm in no mood to think about anything else now.
dang the car didnt bang me down on the road. damn it.
its pretty quiet in here. the moon is a solemn delicate crescent piece of magic. dont cry! i tell myself. and i shall not.
just teach me how to let the stupid lingering thoughts go. its hounding me like a shadow. its scaring me.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006, 5:45 PM
i recovered so many things i've lost todaymy pencilcase - a gift from a good friend* with some of my pens missing, the eraser broken into half, and the pen ink dying
a stray box of staplets, protractor and compass was inside too!
my 5 bucks - from underneath my pillow. haha
my bull dog toy - a birthday present too. found under my sister's bed, dusty. i must have kicked it aside while sleeping. i oughta do that in reality too.
some found, others still lost
and shall never be returned
because its not mine
to begin with
like the letters
and notes
and messages
i chucked them out of sight
out of mind
i am happier this way
i hope!
for now i shall mug for the midyears
i think only mugging can stop me from dreaming
snap me outta it all.
welcome back to planet earth my dear.
12:54 PM
urgh this week is gonna be so boring again! lessons lessons MORE LESSONS :( where did my long-awaited june hols go to?! down the drain.. and today i came in late for math! whoops sorry miss lim cant help it if the (darned) bus came late; almost didnt manage to squeeze onto the bus but thank god i did. was kinda enlightened during math today, i dont know why but yea. it spurred me on to start on my hol assignment (like, finally!) while i spent the following 4 hours (after minusing off the breaks i took to eat and daydream) mugging and poring over the questions, and got a migraine. throbthrob goes the temples in my head. ouch. (partly also becos i tied my hair up too tightly. LOL.) when i let my hair down i heard a deep hushed whisper that said oh gosh stressed out man; in short, i was a walking disasterr. NOT. just a bad hair day. haha! jibin, jinhao and junAn were there too (the three J's) and i think we all got a lil frustrated with 4 hours of solid math. oh enough of it for today! OH YAR the funny thing was, jibin actually walked into the gents! (gasps) tsktsk this shows how hardworking and tired she had been..-did you really mean what you said? then why did you forget about it the moment it vanished into the air? what exactly are you saying? are the words directed at me? who? are you trying to say something that i cannot seem to catch? hmmm?
Sunday, May 28, 2006, 5:10 AM
the other night before i went to sleep a little thought crept to my head. it stayed and it wouldnt go away! so it lingered as i thought about the past; about the good old days in IJ and about the times when we studied together no matter how early or late the holiday classes were... we stood by each other didnt we? i know i wasnt quite the most articulate, clever, humourous or pretty girl in class, but i knew of these people who came up to me and nonetheless made friends wth me; these days are bound to be etched in my heart! just yesterday i was at orchard and i saw these ij girls in their blue pinafores, and a flashback on last year when we used to come here after school taunted me. i miss IJ really truly badly. theres a million ifs should i ever turn back time; and i want to live it all again! but i cant...i am fingering the ij badge and i think to myself, i want to sing the hymns again!
a trip to east coast park with my family made me love them even more. and deep inside i am sorry for having ranted at mom and dad when i was being angsty and didnt see things from their point of view. a little accident while trying to rollerblade alone taught me that. now the cuts on my knees will remind that they will always be by my side even if i fall or cry. why didnt i understand this earlier?
( i know that i may not be the prettiest or most quick-witted person, but please love me for who i really am, small eyes, big nose and all. please dont leave me in the shadows, because i want to show you that i am capable too. every relationship is a game of cards, and sadly, i've never been good at cards. )
- this is such a lousy day.
Friday, May 26, 2006, 4:45 PM
a song to remember.extra mile...
countless eyes are watching
in this our finest hour
its time to realise our dreams
and who we really are
i'm gonna freeze this place in time
rise to meet the call
seize the moment make it mine
and through it all...
straight as the arrow flies
i will run towards the finish line
with all the strength i've found
my feet wont touch the ground.
i will scale the heights if i believe
my wings of faith will carry me
i'd go the distance just to reach
the arms i'm running to...
i'd go the extra mile
for you...
4:31 PM
nyjc 29th council investiture!praise to all the elects, 28th and teachers who have been ever so patient and understnding all these while; for the times when we were all sooo tired after staying till late in school for rehearsals, meetings etc.; for the times when we didnt quite see eye to eye about certain things but in the end things were cleared up... and for the times, when youu guys smsed short messages of encouragement to each other. thats the way to go, titans!
thanks to our seniors, for their ever supporting role in our infant council life, and for sharing their experiences with us.. hopefully this will be the baton of leadership that will continue to thrive on, when we'll look back on these days and sigh heartily.
what else can i say?... god bless. oh, and sorry this post is like so belated.
nyjc 29th student council investiture - 23rd may 2006.
a day to remember for life..
-
something interesting happened just yesterday when we were at bishan cc's reading lounge. a kind soul gave us some rolls of pancake whilst we were busy with a farewell card for chinese teacher. i felt that it was a pretty nice gesture. so yep. :] okie i've gotta go do my long overdue math tutorial! oops.
tata!
Saturday, May 20, 2006, 11:44 AM
5 DAYS to go TITANS!oh boy isnt it going to be EXCITING!? yes i'm going gaga over evrything now; am praying so hard -evryday- that all goes well > at times i get pretty apprehensive and sometimes lose my footing on the ground; i'm just glad that the whole o 29th is there to support me should i ever fall.
i wish to congratulate you all for having come this far, to step up on this learning platform that will, no doubt, rise to greater heights. keep in mind that all is not over yet, so step on the accelerator and hop onto the council-invest bandwagon! hang on and sit tight..for the journey has just begun :]
-
i dedicate this to anyone who's reading this ( and thats you ).
the milky way
upon the heaven
is twinkling just for you.
and mr moon
he came by
to show you that he cared.
oh my sleeping child
the world's so wild
but you build your
own paradise
thats one reason why
i'd cover you sleeping child.
-just to show you that the world still loves you.
Thursday, May 18, 2006, 2:30 PM
today's vball finals was WHOA EXCITING! oh my gawd oh my gawd germaine and i were running outta breath from all the heart-stopping scores and action* the scores were REAL CLOSE mind you; NYJC vs HCI - 23 vs 24.. so close! we were leading. then they caught up :( and they won. oh wells, ny vball girls still ROCKK > nice job. the guys too. plus! COUNCILLORS and the NYJCians who cheered them on ever-so-loudly :] esp the girls along the aisles where i stood; they grabbed every opportunity to cheer and scream! it was sheer whitehot competition; the vball sailing in the air and the servings were WHOA! the scores were freakin close, the suspense stifling. i can relive the matches again in my head.. ultimately we rahh-rahhed the crowds cos it was the support frm NYJCians that mattered too. so rahh-rahh we did, and i can bet youu the council will appreciate some strepsils tmr.. lol.
countdown to invest! [ gasps ] 5 days left >
Thursday, May 11, 2006, 2:10 PM
busy busy dayyy.less than 2 weeks to council investiture* woots. everyones busy to the tips of their toes; especially the four comms!
you guys are doing well now; remember- this is OUR investiture to own for years in our lives. ownage!
just pray that all goes well; that i wont trip over in my courtshoes [ as you may already know i am a sorta tomboyish person who's never worn such things before. lol. ] ; that it will be a blast [ this we all already know dont we! ]
and theres such a thing as REST too. remember that. cos we dont want any panda-eyed elects on that day!
Tuesday, May 9, 2006, 1:50 PM
school!everytime i step into the canteen i never fail to spot one table of councillors who are -ahem- illegally gathering together, joking around! whats more interesting is the lil bits of conversation pieces that you catch while sitting aside and listening to them talk [ sometimes even giggles and laughter, no doubt! ] cos it mostly revolves around juicy scandalous stuffs! hehe. it amuses me to listen to them chatter, right jiaying! :] what with pingqi and the others who are swooning over our new president-sir lychee [ oops lester i'm warning you dont faint in all that hot spotlight aiight! stay cool dude ] , and about vanessa's vball boy+friend :] hehe! theres more.. plenty more from where these came from. thats the 28th council for you! [ grins ]
today...
the horoscopes were right; today i lost my temper. [ wow spot on. ]not at anyone but myself. [ ok maybe someone else out there was shot down and bombarded by my rantings too, sorry bout that ] its so freakingly frustrating isnt it! the way things turn out to be.. not how you expected it to be. a million miles away from what you truly wanted. i'm digressing. again!
someday [ i mean NOW ] i am going to sit that fat bum of mine down at my desk and just get all the tutorials and work over and done with! though i swear that day will never come. ahhh procrastinating me. i just want to play all day!
sigh*
Monday, May 8, 2006, 1:31 PM
.the funeral of my rose.lets face it, i havent been focusing on my work lately; its difficult when you have a million and one things on your mind, and nothing to keep you on track. i feel so so guilty when i sit at my desk and stare at the pile of untouched pieces of tutorials lying around. yes i know i oughta pick up my pen and get crackin but it just didnt seem to be that way for me! instead i pick up my diary and wander off outside the corridors to doodle. oh my gawd i'm so guilty for slacking! and daddy's nagging doesnt help at all. [ i'm surprised cos this is the very first time he's actually nagging at me! oh boy another 'first' to add to my life ]
" we were strangers
starting out on a journey.
never dreamt that's
how our wish would come true.
now here we stand
as friends who will guide me
in all the things that we do..
and life is a road
that i wanna keep going;
love is a rhythm
i wanna keep flowing on.
starting out on a journey..
i'll be there when the road stops turning
i'll be there when the storm is through
till the end i wanna be standing at the beginning with you."
thats what friends are truly meant for.
i didnt go home straight after that outing on saturday; played on the swings for a lil while cos it was fun. then i thought, maybe things didnt quite work out for the both o us, cos its too much for us to bear when the distance got too large. i dont know if you've walked away yet, but please dont.
"Yet the days go by
and weeks rush on,
And before I know
it, a year is gone.
And I never see my
old friends face,
For life is a swift
and terrible race,
He knows I like him
just as well,
As in the days when
I rang his bell.
And he rang mine if,
we were younger then,
And now we are busy,
tired people.
Tired of playing a
foolish game,
Tired of trying to
make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say! "I
will call on him.
just to show that
I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes
and tomorrow goes,
And distance between
us grows and grows.
Around the corner!
yet miles away.."
i thought this was pretty true. so there.
Friday, May 5, 2006, 1:02 PM
this week's been helluva BUSY one fer me and everyone else i bet. sigh* tests tests and more TESTS! all hounding me like a nightmare [shivers] it sho aint helping when i'm failing all of them too. double sigh* mind you i'm really damned upset bout failing it. seriously gotta get help for chem and physics and math.. things are screwed up, as usual..the week before: COUNCIL CAMP - TITANS!
just one word to describe it. tough.
another phrase to sum it up. we've really grown ALOT thru this camp; as one twentyninth council...
" cos when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. " all the way titans!
i've missed everyone soooo much.